The Rest of the Story: Heidi's Birthday Continued

To understand and get the most from this post I highly recommend you read the previous post "Turning Sadness into Meaningful Moments" dated March 3, 2016 first.

I am still in shock as to how the rest of Heidi’s birthday events have played out. It is just further evidence to me of divine intervention. Late in the afternoon on Heidi’s birthday, I said that I couldn’t wait to see how the miracles of the day unfolded when the necklace was given out and what the outcome would be. I felt the day was a present to me and it was being slowly unwrapped, and the beauty of the gift would eventually be revealed. However, I thought the story all centered on the girl receiving the necklace. I was wrong--there was a whole other part of the day unfolding that had nothing to with that girl, but instead with an entirely separate girl and her story.

As you may recall, I had pulled my van over and called back to the Kendra Scott jewelry store to ask if someone there would please take a photo of the cupcakes and the girls working in the store. It was strange request that I feel I was meant to do, because it was the catalyst for the rest of the story.

The girl that answered the phone was Shelby. I remembered meeting and talking with her in the store. She is the beautiful blonde standing behind the flowers in the group photo. Because she sent me the photos I requested, I told her I would send her a link to my blog post when I completed it.

On Thursday I was anxious to write about Heidi’s birthday, so I got up early and wrote it all out so I wouldn’t forget any details. After writing my feelings, I was supposed to go have lunch with a friend whom I had not seen in months. As much as I wanted to see her, I was physically drained and emotionally exhausted from Heidi’s birthday. I also wanted to get the blog I had in mind started with Heidi’s birthday being its first post.

In the past, I have been writing stories down but I hadn’t had the courage to let anyone read them. I feel very insecure and vulnerable putting my words and stories out there. I don’t feel confident in my writing ability and my stories are of a very personal and special nature and I don’t need some insensitive troll reading my stuff and criticizing me and my beliefs. Recently though, I read the book “Rising Strong” by Brené Brown about being vulnerable and taking chances by allowing your soul to express itself. I decided that whether the critics (and shameless trolls of the internet) liked my thoughts or not, and even if I wasn’t a good writer, the only way to impact and help others and to allow my soul to sing and grow was to start putting some of my experiences out there. I have felt for a long time that my stories of healing could bless and help others with their trials and losses as well. Thus, the blog is now a place of healing for both me and those it touches.

So back to the story: My lunch friend texted that she was ill and would need to reschedule. Perfect. I needed the day to stay in my pajamas and recover. When I experience a big and emotional day or events surrounding Heidi, I often need a day or more to process my feelings and climb back out of the deep emotions. It is good to feel the emotions but it can be draining and exhausting and I often need some time to emerge again by figuring out what the event means and how to take meaning from it.  Beginning the blog was therapeutic for me.

At 7:12 PM on Thursday evening, I texted Shelby and let her know that the blog was up so she could read it and share the link with her co-workers. The response I received was nothing I expected:

Thank you so much for sharing that with me. Reading it brought tears to my eyes. I had a blood clot in my right leg last August and reading about Heidi hits close to home. She sounds like she was such an amazing girl and I wish I had the chance to meet her. I'm so grateful that I was there to meet you yesterday! I will definitely share with the rest of the girls.

My jaw dropped. I sent it to my daughter Amy. She asked how Shelby knew that she had a blood clot. I felt a bit strange prying too deeply but I asked Shelby what had happened to her.

I had a DVT in my right leg. My leg was very tender and I went to the doctor when I had numbness in my toes. My mom thought I might be having circulation problems so I went in and they found the clot.

Heidi had a DVT (deep vein thrombosis) in her left leg that was undetected, and that is what took her life when it traveled from her upper left leg to her lungs and blocked her oxygen. What are the odds that Shelby was the one to answer my phone call and help me out? I was in shock with this news. I texted Shelby back and said that for some reason we were meant to meet--and she felt the same way:

I definitely don't think it's a coincidence. I'm actually a runner too and my first thought was that it had to be running related. I know how lucky I am and I'm so thankful that I caught it when I did. ... I'm not sure why we met either or why I was the one to answer the phone, but I don't think it was just a coincidence.

I had to know the answer to the next big question: “Were you on birth control?”

I was on birth control and my doctor believes that was the cause of my clot! I was put on it for acne when I started Accutane a couple years ago. Both of my grandparents have a history of blood clots and my grandma almost died from hers. I haven't been tested but I definitely think I need to be. My sister was also on birth control but she was taken off of it.

Heidi had been on birth control for acne as well and that is the catalyst that caused the clot to form. Unbeknownst to us, our family has genetic blood factors that when paired with birth control can be fatal. Heidi’s death has already saved lives in our family by bringing this blood clotting knowledge to our family. We now know that 6 of our children have one or two clotting factors. Brian has one he has passed on and I have another one. We have the bad luck of being a dual couple and if our children have both factors they are at greater risk for clots when coupled with the following factors: taking birth control pills or on any hormone-based medicine, during pregnancy and 6 weeks after pregnancy, after any surgery, traveling in a car or plane for more than 3 hours, smoking, and being overweight. There are more risks but those I’ve listed are the most common risk behaviors that lead to clots, and precautions are necessary to avoid clot formation.

Heidi died 3 weeks before her oldest sister Amy delivered her first baby. As soon as Heidi died, it prompted us all to be tested, and Amy found out that she has the two clotting factors and was immediately put on 3 shots a day of blood thinners for the remainder of her pregnancy and postpartum for 6 weeks. Another one of Heidi’s sisters, Erin, was supposed to start the same birth control regimen for acne the month Heidi died, and she has both clotting factors as well. We believe that Heidi’s death brought this knowledge to our family and saved some of our lives by allowing us to take precautions.

Now the opportunity was presenting itself to educate Shelby so she could take precautions and help protect her family as well. She said that she had not been tested for the clotting factors. In response to my plea to get tested this is what she said:

I definitely will get tested. Thank you for encouraging me to do so. I just talked to my mom and told her that I have been talking to you and she wanted me to thank you for her. She's going to call the doctor tomorrow. I knew there were a lot things that could affect me later in life since I've had a clot but it will be good for me to figure out what exactly. Thank you so much!

I am so thankful that I met you or I wouldn't have ever thought to do that. God definitely brought you into the store and into my life for a reason! I will definitely keep you posted and let you know as soon as I get my results. Have a great day! (Heidi ended every journal entry she wrote with “I had a great day,” so I found that little bit at the end touching as well).

Wow! Is all I could say. I was in awe that God and Heidi had directed me to her. I cried and thanked God for the blessings I had gained by following his promptings and for the guardian angel that Heidi is to me, to Shelby, and also the girl that got the necklace.

I asked Shelby the next day if I could share all of this on the blog and I would not say her name. This how she responded:

I wouldn't mind that at all and you can even name me! I think it's actually a great idea to add it in. I've been thinking about how crazy it all is all night and day. My sister and I are both being tested Tuesday morning. Can't wait to read it!

What an incredible experience. Here I was thinking the day was all about honoring Heidi and blessing the necklace recipient but little did I know there was a life-saving opportunity happening as well. I am grateful for the promptings I followed. I am grateful for the healing I have felt from following the promptings instead of doing what I really wanted to do that afternoon--go home and crawl back to bed. No one would have blamed me or faulted me for doing that. Honestly some days I do crawl back in bed to fight the grief and there is nothing wrong with that, but I am so glad Heidi was prodding me along the whole way. Happy Birthday Heidi, I love you.